sekritomg: (mew mew)
Though I don't aspire to being a dramatic piece of shit, it's always hard for me to get back into writing after I post a fic, especially if it doesn't get many comments, which my last fic didn't. I think some of this is the sense of completion I get actually finishing something; that feeling is quite satisfying, so why start working on something unfinished again, as if opening a wound? Another thing is the lack of response, which I imagine would carry me forward on a wave of interest, or something, but it's not going to happen in this fandom. The biggest issue, though, is that I have so many fucking stories and not that much time to write fic while I finish real-life work, so I just get caught up and paralyzed trying to figure out what to work on and publish. I tend to write non-linearly and have many stories I chip away at simultaneously; if I want to finish and post something I sort of have to determine to focus on it to the exclusion of others.

So what I'm saying is I don't know what to work on next and am looking for thoughts on the matter.

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sekritomg: (mew mew)
This is a glossary of some Polari terms that appear in You Only Live Twice, itself a prequel to 'Go to the Mirror!' and The Rectum is a Tomb. Throughout the fic, Stan, Kyle, and many men they interact with lace their speech with bits of Polari, a vocabulary used by gay men in Britain primarily in the early 20th century until the 1960s. A good dictionary of Polari is Paul Baker's Fantabulosa: A Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang. The best reference work is his Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men, which gives Polari excellent social and cultural context.

Despite the title of Baker's book, Polari is not really a language; it is more useful to think of it as a vocabulary set, as it follows English grammar and syntax, usually only replacing sexually charged words with Polari alternatives. It was not spoken by all gay men and not all gay men had the same exact knowledge of Polari; it depended very much on social circles. By the time Kyle and Stan pick some up in the mid-1960s Polari is on its last legs; in the 1970s it almost vanished. There are three main uses for Polari:

  • Identity construction, i.e. marking oneself as a user of Polari

  • Identification, i.e. determining if other men are users of Polari

  • Camouflage, i.e. making it possible to discuss men, sex, and sex with men in the presence of those who might be hostile to men who have sex with men

As homosexuality became increasingly mainstream, Polari was no longer useful. Moreover, its highly gendered, sexist, and racist character was considered unproductive for the burgeoning gay rights movement. Beyond that, Polari represented a kind of hiding, and as coming out became more possible and more practiced, Polari was seen as too antiquated.

For Kyle and Stan, the use of Polari is mostly about wanting to fit in. They only know bits of it and couldn't carry on a conversation with more than what's used in the story. They are using it because they want to use it. By the time the 1980s roll around they are no longer using it because it's no longer relevant for them.

If you find a word in the fic and want to know what it means, please let me know and I'll add it here.

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sekritomg: (mew mew)
Title: You Only Live Twice
Pairing: Token/Stan, Cartman/Kyle
Summary: In his third year at Oxford, 1966-1967, Stanley’s life is at a crossroads. The boy he likes is seeing someone else, his tutor hates his work, and homosexuality is illegal in Britain. Yet a posh, handsome classmate has taken an interest in him; could this be the year Stanley figures out the direction he’s meant to head in?
Rating: R
Warnings: Some sex; casual drug use (it’s the 60s); lots of violence in future chapters
Notes: Very AU historical fiction. A prequel to "Go to the Mirror!" and The Rectum is a Tomb. Special thanks is due to [ profile] negniahn for reviewing a draft of this, and to Ceia for really fantastic and comprehensive comments on this fic, especially my usage of British terms and speech patterns.


Michaelmas: October-December 1966 (FFN)
Hilary: January-March 1967 (FFN)
Trinity: April-June 1967 (FFN)
Epilogue: With Claws Out: July 1967 (FFN)

Under the cut, a dedication:

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sekritomg: (mew mew)
If anything my fic has gotten much worse over the years!
sekritomg: (mew mew)
skrtomg said:

You should probably write a paragraph of meta on "Asspen."

lalondes answered:

South Park's greatest metatextual successes frequently result from strict adherence to the esoterica of bygone media. The 2002 episode “Asspen” is one such success, constructing an exaggerated, artificial replica of 1980s sports films merely by cleaving precisely to their peculiar style and diction. Its plot and dialogue are virtually indistinguishable from those of its source material, and yet the result is mordant parody rather than sentimental tribute. As Sontag writes in her Notes on ‘Camp,’ the purpose of such technique is to “[see] everything in quotation marks” and to “understand Being-as-Playing-a-Role.” In “Asspen,” Stan Marsh assumes the role of victim-to-victor protagonist whose impoverished masculinity may only be rectified via an enthusiastic embrace of athleticism and the butch aesthetic. Kyle, in a markedly unsubtle queering of the episode’s inspirations, is rendered a pining, desperate lover, concerned above all with Stan’s well-being and, by extension, the survival of their relationship. In one notable scene, Kyle, looking moribund and gripping a photograph of himself and Stan locked in an embrace, stands in the shadow of a craggy, impossibly steep mountain. This begs the question: what messages about queerness are conveyed by the intentional deployment of obviously phallic imagery during a moment of severe thanatophobia? Although the implicit connection of queerness to peril is fraught with homophobic connotation, the scene functions to inspire sympathy for Kyle in his pining for Stan, and suggests a symbolic burial of the heteromasculine melodrama of Hot Dog… The Movie and its ilk.

and then i reblogged... )
sekritomg: (mew mew)
Earlier in the week, maybe last week (I don't remember anything anymore -- wait, it was two weeks ago, because it was before I came down here, right?), the infamous [ profile] bookshop posted this Daily Dot thing about how no one noticed or cared about the LJ site redesign. Typically I don't pay heed to what gets published at the Daily Dot, but it happened that a few weeks prior to that I had been at a [ profile] fail_fandomanon meetup in which all six other people were very anti-LJ. I was seriously puzzled; why does everyone hate LJ so much? I think part of why this makes me sad is because I have had a LiveJournal (not this one, but my personal one, which I still use) for the entire duration of my young adult life and my fandom life. It has been my primary point of contact with numerous people, my point of introduction to numerous people I now consider friends, and serves as a record for experiences I had in high school and college and beyond, in three different countries and in three different US cities. So the idea that the site is falling out of favor generally and with fandom specifically is, yes, troubling to me.

But it's also disturbing because the functionality of this site, in fan space, is really not that bad. Especially not when you compare it to that of Tumblr, which is not a platform for the kind of fan experience I want to have. This entry really has nothing to do with anything, except that I just made a rather nice fic rec on Tumblr that was eaten as soon as I published it, leaving only the link and none of the text. The thing is, the text is the important part. Yet on Tumblr the primary focus of fannish activity is the shareable object: a link, an image, a soundbite. These things have value, and I love fan art more than I have any right to as someone who is actually a professional working on the arts. But I don't know how I can exist in a framework where objects become the focus of fan activity, tumbling from blog to blog amassing quantifiable "notes" that correspond to "likes." To "like" something is the most meaningless, softcore valuation of anything. It's akin to how I call people I don't really want to spend time with but can't describe as objectionable "nice."

Tumblr is perfectly nice. It is easy on the eyes (well, the main page is; go on someone's personal site, and beware); it doesn't put up much resistance when you want to upload something; it limits communications, including flames and crits, drastically by character; even private messaging is "fan mail." But it doesn't privilege text or discourse by design, and when it fucks up, it preserves only the least essential aspect of your data: the shareable object.

It's not really a big deal that the 200-ish words (or whatever) I wrote about a fan fic are gone forever. I write 200 words without incident. I am full of fucking words.

I just want somewhere to put them where they will be read. I don't care if they are passed around. I just want to have the opportunity to get a response.
sekritomg: (mew mew)
I did this last year and found it useful for me. Basically, what am I currently working on? Well.

Craig/Clyde fic. I think I started writing this as a response to SOT, because I was interested in how stuff went down with Craig and Clyde there. In that way it’s sort of a response to canon like how L&K was a response to Mysterion. To be honest this is basically a will they/won’t they fic and guess what, they do, so it’s rather short on plot. I hope that finding out how they do is interesting at least. Like everything I write there’s a S/K subplot, but mostly I’m using this to really think about Craig, okay, he’s a very important character. This fic’s not very good, don’t get excited.

Read more... )

scrap post

May. 17th, 2014 02:28 pm
sekritomg: (mew mew)
This is a scrap from a fic that was supposed to be about Kyle babysitting, and having Stan sneak over to hook up. Not going to finish it, so, posting the little bit I have. Enjoy!

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Scrap post

Apr. 5th, 2014 02:34 pm
sekritomg: (mew mew)
This was my famous and much-anticipated attempt to write a fic where Kyle and Stan are in the fandom life. I could explain where this was going up front but instead it's noted at the end of the scrap. I can't believe I'm quitting this to write Craig/Clyde, oh well.

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Scrap post

Mar. 29th, 2014 12:16 am
sekritomg: (mew mew)
PairingL S/K
Rating: PG
Summary: Literally 1384 words about Kyle needing to have an abortion

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sekritomg: (mew mew)
The chances of Stan and Kyle having an mpreg baby with red hair are pretty low. Though [ profile] negniahn points out to me that both Stan's Uncle Jimbo and Aunt Flo have red hair, I would argue that Jimbo's hair is more brownish than not. Also, Aunt Flo is an old woman so she's probably dyeing her hair. I have pointed out that Aunt Flo is actually a personification of Stan's mother's period, to which [ profile] negniahn has argued that "Kyle is the personification of everyone's period," which I guess is a fair point. But even if Aunt Flo's hair was actually red, she's Stan's great aunt (or maybe great-great aunt?), which means the genetic link between them isn't that close. So, sure, it's possible that Stan and Kyle's mpreg baby might have red hair, but, look, probably not.

Scrap post

Mar. 18th, 2014 07:32 pm
sekritomg: (marjorine)
I started writing this last fall and after re-reading it I am still so into this idea, which is supposed to be kind of tongue-in-cheek and cracked out. Unfortunately I have way too many fics to write so I am abandoning this one.

Rating: R/NC17ish
Pairings: Butters/Kenny, Craig/Clyde, Craig/Butters/Kenny, Stan/Kyle
Summary: In this unfinished genderbend AU, all the boys are adult lesbian separatists and South Park is their lesbian separatist commune.
Note: This was supposed to be very, um, pulpy.

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Fic post

Mar. 7th, 2014 12:49 am
sekritomg: (mew mew)
Mpresent for [ profile] negniahn
S/K, R
Just really short fluffy mpreg, no plot, nothing to see here

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sekritomg: (mew mew)
Taking a break from playing SOT to have an anxiety attack, so I'm taking a break from that by writing some brief meta.

For a while I've had the idea that "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" is the keenest articulation of South Park's view of its main characters. I think there are shades of this in the game and I think it's pretty consistent. The thing that initially got me on about it was the first verse. It's so painfully indicative of how I think the show would like you to view these characters. To wit:

some minor SOT content/spoilers -- nothing plot-related )


Mar. 5th, 2014 09:38 pm
sekritomg: (mew mew)
Okay, so I was playing with Stan when I went into Kyle's room and took Kyle's underwear, and Stan said, "Uh, I guess that's cool?"

sekritomg: (mew mew)
I am not sure if I should post this link or not, because on one hand it is anger-inducing and will probably piss someone off. On the other hand, it is also very WTF and I have no idea what is going on, like, are these just the top 50 stories on FFN in some dimension, like, pageviews? Or ... just what the journal owner feels? Or what? So confusing. What's with the little rising/falling arrows? What, are SP fanfics stocks now? Anyway, I'm erring on the side of someone finding this fascinating, like I do, or maybe just wanting to get some convo going.

scrap post

Feb. 5th, 2014 11:04 pm
sekritomg: (mew mew)
I wanted to write something about Wendy and Stan's friendship after reading this, and I started after I'd even made it through the essay. But I just seriously don't have the freedom to write long things right now! So I'm just posting the scrap.

Read more... )
sekritomg: (mew mew)
A response to this post! I tried reblogging and responding that way, but I'm sorry, reblogging an ask is just too ugly to organize my thoughts. Please accept my apologies, [ profile] formerdinosaur. The thing is, I mostly agree with what's already in that post, to the extent that I just scrapped the longer post I was writing. Here are some disjointed thoughts of less import:

- I think the show implies at a couple of points that Kyle is into rap music. He's probably not that into it, or a huge fan of music in general. He probably doesn't, say, go to shows. He probably just listens to top-40 radio.

- I love the idea that Stan writes non-complex vaguely political songs that are musically catchy but lyrically feckless.

- The idea that Cartman is into Sublime came from the idea that he could easily grow up and become some douchey bro frat-boy, or the Cartman approximation thereof. He's also clearly into anything self-aggrandizing and over-the-top.

- I actually have songs that remind me of all of the characters and/or various pairings, and many of the fics I've written. I would be more than willing to discuss it if people care, though my assumption has always been that people didn't.

- In terms of hobbies, they are all clearly into video games. Stan would follow the NFL and be into the Broncos, whereas I think Kyle would maintain a shallow interest in basketball that he gradually grows away from. For some reason I get the idea that the older he gets the less he'll be into mainstream things and the more he'll kind of retreat inside of himself and spend a lot of time studying/reading. You'd think maybe Stan would get into some kind of animal-rights activism habit, or at least volunteer at a shelter. In high school Kyle would probably get very involved in a bunch of high-achievement clubs like Model UN or editing the yearbook -- that kind of thing. Maybe he'd be like student government secretary. He's not popular to actually be president, and he's not as legitimately invested as Wendy would be, but it would be important to him to do the right thing and get involved in some capacity that makes him look good/accomplished. He'd probably be involved in his synagogue youth group, too, which isn't so much a religious thing as just the kind of thing kids get swept into doing because it's a safe social environment. His mom's already got him in Jew Scouts, after all. Probably when they grow up I think Stan's hobbies would remain fairly consistent, while Kyle would probably spend too much time working and not know what to do with himself when he wasn't. Almost certainly Stan would want to have a nice garden and raise chickens. Kyle would want a nice garden but not want to work in it himself and would be very anti-chickens.

I have this idea that Butters probably draws really tame hetero fan art of like, comic characters like Brenda Starr. Not even as part of some internet fandom thing, that's just a natural setting for him. Probably it's like him kissing different women. Butters making out with Lois Flagston, there you go.

- My basic conviction about Stan and Kyle is that they are enormous nerds. I mean, all of the kids are huge nerds. They are all into LARPing and WOW and gaming and quote Star Trek prodigiously and so on. And they are in the Terrance and Phillip fan club, which is a geeky thing in its own way, like, on par with old-school nerds who are obsessed with Monty Python. They can quote all the lines to old episodes!

Why did I write this?
sekritomg: (mew mew)
There was some arguing on Tumblr and you know me, I love arguing. It's a long thread, or whatever, so start here and read back. A lot of people there have covered all the points I would make really well, but [ profile] formerdinosaur mentioned that she is sick of seeing the conversation about bottoming and characters who are depicted as bottoming. She's right, it's an old discussion that keeps coming back, over and over again. So quickly, I jotted down a few points that came to mind on the topic, some of which are only loosely related:

It’s been done before. I got into this fandom on Christmas Eve 2007. That is six years ago. Six years. Part of me at all times is like, what the fuck, how did this go on for so long? Another part of me is just like, wow, it’s amazing that I’ve been in this fandom for six years and people are still arguing over the same stuff, namely the top-bottom dynamic between Stan and Kyle. I have heard this conversation so many times. It’s not in any sense the fault of people who keep starting this argument that they don’t realize it’s been had before, but it has. It’s good to acknowledge that this fandom has been around for a while and ask around to see what kinds of responses you get. Many of us have been here for a while, watching the same topics get rehashed over and over again. I would be happy to discuss almost anything, and I’m sure most people would be, too.

Read more... )
sekritomg: (mew mew)
Title: The Rectum is a Tomb (8/10)
Rating: R, this chapter
Pairings: S/K; others too numerous to mention
Summary: A 1980s British historical AU. After 20 years of teasing each other and hating themselves, Stan and Kyle are finally doing it, awww. Too bad the 80s are a bad time to be a moron.
Author's notes: a) Homage to the literary gay fiction of the 1980s, specifically Hollinghurst, but now it's just all over the place. b) I'm not British. c) This is so, so AU. d) I am so, so, so sorry this took over two years to update. I did not mean it. I realize that's wrong and bad and, what's worse, I can't promise I'll update again any sooner. Yet I do promise this fic will be completed. You can count on it.

(This chapter happens to be the climax of the fic.)

I sincerely hope it was worth the wait, and I thank you for reading.
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