Too much

[sekritomg]

I have reached a point where I have started writing too many things to ever finish them all. I am going to be gone a whole lot over the next month, and imaginaaation is holding a contest that I have got to finish a story for by June 30.

What should I work on?

- A dramatic story about death?
- A tense story about body modification?
- A boisterous story about fake hipsters?
- A graphic story about geometry?
- A mournful story about adoption?
- A first-person story about promises? I can write this, but not in the first person.
- A funny story about gender identity?
- "The Other Table"?
- ETA 6/12: A cracked-out story about Kyle having a vagina? (This story isn't deep enough to pretend to be vague and cool about it.)
- ETA 6/12: A fluffy story about antiquing?

Without telling you which is which, one of these stories doesn't have Stan or Kyle in it at all, one isn't actually slash, one that is slash isn't Stan/Kyle, two are multi-chaptered, one is set during college, and one of them, I haven't even begun writing.

Comments

[sekrit-omg.livejournal.com]

I think I hate DA. I really miss how individual sites used to just archive all of one genre or fandom and it would be cool that way. I mean, I've discovered a lot of really cool artists this way, but it sort of feels like Etsy for fan porn sometimes. You know? Also, I have like five people on watch and all of a sudden I'm like, "Oh, cool, I don't have to reply to this right now because I have a little note about it, I'll do it later" ... then I don't. Anyway, I'm sure you have way more to reply to than I do. I can completely understand how it would freak you out.

We should do like an informal deathfic exchange, because I would love to read yours. Although, let's be honest, I have an unfair advantage because I stalk your FF.net profile so I kind of have an idea what it's about. (I have no idea when mine will see the light of day, either.)

I am going to reply in-depth when I get around to it. (I just stole your strike-out thing, there. Thanks for that.) Your reviews are seriously awesome. Do you not like getting them, or something? (Wait, I tell myself, don't think that, that's retarded.) I think you write the kind of comments that authors (good or bad or middling) flip out over because it is so rewarding to know that someone not only enjoyed your writing that much, but they put some time into thinking about it. And it's always helpful to hear what readers are picking up on, and what they're not, etc. I am sure you already know this. But if I could hide fandom reviews on FF.net, I would never, ever hide yours. I would hide the ones from my friends who make up stupid names to annoy me.

I actually want to see a picture of your fat cat. And as for an e-mail, it will be up shortly.

(Man, I can't believe I have reached a point in my life where I go away for five days and I have fandom things to catch up on. Oh my god.)

[imaginaaation.livejournal.com]

I had to Google Etsy, and I like it a lot, although it makes me wish I were craftier. The only handmade project I ever made was this deflated pot thing with a frog on it, which just depresses the hell out of me. From what I’ve seen, I think you’re more of a hands-on artist--I admire that a lot, because it’s really the era of digital art and cutting corners (which I do frequently, shamelessly). I feel like I just got on dA to connect with a larger group of fans…okay, yeah, that’s true, I probably wouldn’t be posting there (or even drawing much) if it weren’t for the SP community. I want to say I regret it because it’s a huge hassle, but while I despise the site itself, I am just in love with this fandom and its people. Who the fuck would’ve thought South Park fans would be so friendly? Like, seriously??

Oh god. Deathfic exchange would just rock my socks off. I’ll totally send you mine when/if it gets finished, but I’ve got to warn you, it’s crap. Whoops, and I completely forgot I posted that blurb on my profile. I’m flattered; I didn’t think people actually read those! How far along is your fic? Do you have blurbs for me? Blurblurblurb.

You just gave me a fucking amazing review that I did not deserve, and I’ve been plugging away at a response. Thank you so much! Your feedback actually kept me cheerful through an entire shift at work, which is unprecedented. I love how we have roughly seventy-thousand little threads of correspondence going on here, and every single one stops on my end. That embarrasses me. Maybe that’s why I like the kink meme so much: it doesn’t necessitate actual replies. Not that I mind replying to you, obviously, but I am easily distracted, and that’s one less thing to worry about. Post-and-go. Oh, and I’m right there with you with the friends reviewing, though not in this fandom, so much. But I’ll get a review from “OMG (my name)’s WIFE” and I’m just like, “Thanks, darling. You read my slashy porn, now I have to look you in the face tomorrow morning. THANK YOU.”

I would have cat pictures to show you right now, but Photobucket is being a little bitch. Ah, and I totally caught your 666th pageview; apparently dA refreshes you after you post a comment! I drew obnoxious things all over the screencap, which I’ll link you to when my image server grows a pair. I don’t know if you were still doing that kiriban (spelling?) deal, and obviously I don’t want anything, but 666 is the most capture-worthy number ever. I just recently caught my own page at 8,667 picture views as I’m watching 66 people, with 666.69 views per deviation. It’s the greatest cap in the world.

(Oh, hey, shit. SPOILERS. This is neither here nor there, and I’m honestly not saying this just so we can talk about me, but I’ve been meaning to tell you that you’re dead right about a certain major plot point of that Lex Talionis fic. Your review gave me false hope that I was being all sneaky, then I got your addendum, and my face just fell. I was so happy and “well, goddamnit” at the same time. I just needed to congratulate you properly on that before I post a new chapter and go, “HAHAHA NO ONE SAW IT COMING 8D 8D!” I hope you don’t figure out the other secret bits, but knowing you, you’ll have them within the first paragraph. This is why you are amazing. Also, the most challenging reader ever. Thank you so much for that.)

[sekrit-omg.livejournal.com]

Etsy is extremely weird. I feel weird about the whole handmade craft movement, I really do, but I feel the way Etsy works with favorites and popularity is similar to how it works on DA. I'm not popular on either, so there you go. In the past I've only been interested in using DA to lurk around collecting favorites but now I'm all into the SP fandom, the best fandom in the land. It's totally ironic, isn't it? I'm waiting for the wanky dark side to reveal itself. It also seems like people are pretty independent and generally into the show, rather than just grouping together to be BNF bitches. This is actually the first time I've really been genuinely into a fandom, and not just hanging around for the drama/badfic/free pie.

I'm sure yours isn't bad. It's got to be at least good to read, right? Well, you would probably disagree. Mine is, like ... way over the top. Like, with accidental pregnancies and genderqueers and bitch-fighting parents and disillusioned siblings. I've written a couple of solid chapters, but it's not in any shape to be shared with the internet at large. I've probably said too much. I'll let you know when it gets anywhere near presentable. (Which might be like next March.)

Actually, a good amount of these threads of correspondence stop with me. For example, this comment went unanswered for a while, and I'm a week behind on my review reply. The bulk of my work is on the computer, so I spend a lot of time on it, which in a lot of ways sucks. Then when I get sick of it I completely remove myself. But I'm always kind of around. Blech. Wait, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh, the review I gave you. I feel like I should be reviewing other people a lot more, actually, but something really has to move me to want to do it. It's not a secret that I freaking love your work so it wasn't like a chore or anything.

Okay, yeah, I think I've completely forgotten how to use Photobucket. Is there no longer a way to just put up one picture without using the bulk-uploader? Didn't there used to be a way to do that? It totally doesn't matter now. Yeah, these conversations are getting kind of mixed up, but I think I've got it straight. I totally owe you something, by the way. I'm just so pleased that I finally got a number worth noting, even if it's the lowest one ever. (You know that if you ever do a kiriban or anything I'll be all over it.)

I have been waiting for "Lex Talionis" for like three months. I have spent way too much time thinking about it over the past three months. I have reread it way too many times. And even if I have the whole thing figured out, which I doubt, I still want to read it. The experience of reading really good writing is so much more rewarding than just finding out what happens. (Harry Potter what?) Like, there are still all these gray areas that I'm looking forward to seeing you handle. Like, is Kyle just a murderess (ha), or is there a self-defense element to his situation? Does someone's life have to be in immediate danger for that to be valid, or does he get a bye for being in a hostage situation? How did Cartman manage to get him into that situation, anyway? What's going to happen to Stan? I need to know all of this. I think you said ... um, Gregory is going to be a major player in the next part, maybe? I don't know how he'll fit in. Let me restate that if it were a bad story my interest in reading it would have fallen off as soon as I figured out that Kyle was the abuse victim, and it didn't. It's just a really good story, really well-written.

[imaginaaation.livejournal.com]

Maybe I’ll sign up on Etsy just to see how it functions. I sure like the layout better, though that’s just my initial reaction. What kind of art do you do there? As far as fandom wank, I’ve seen so little of it that I’m convinced everyone has reached some unspoken mutual understanding about being very…zen. Again, so ironic among SP fans! I’ve only fought with one person on dA, but it wasn’t South Park related. I actually have to hit up other fandoms occasionally just to fuel my wankmobile. I’M A DRAMA WHORE, OKAY. But oh, serious, tearful arguments about whether Character A is ghei with Character B are just so, so much fun.

Your fic appeals to me so much it’s not even funny. I love anything that’s soap-operatic or death-related, which is really sick. Again with my being a drama whore. Can’t wait to see if anything comes of it, but no pressure!

Really? I’m relieved; I could swear it was all me. Review replies, man…now there’s a function I’m still getting used to, because it totally wasn’t around when I started posting shiz. I find that I’m usually camping online and refreshing pages madly, or else I’m heaving my laptop away because I can’t look at it for another goddamn second. For me, reviewing is generally a very involved process, and it can take a lot out of me if I’m not in the right mindset. I’m horribly guilty of lurking. I’ve got a whole list of things I need to review.

Photobucket’s got this new(ish) uploading system where you can put up multiple pictures by highlighting them in your folder. I haven’t done much with it yet, but I bet that’ll be a bitch if your pictures aren’t centralized. You owe me nothing but continued activity, which is worth way, waaay more than a screencap--I truly, honestly fear the day you lose interest in this fandom. I don’t care how selfish that is! Hear that?? I hope you’re obsessed with verbally-advanced eight-year-olds FOREVER. 666 is a great kiriban. I capped my own 100, because I was so fucking excited. That’s weird to think about, now.

(Oh, I wanted to add briefly that I totally wrote the Harry Potter references on that screenshot before we began discussing it. Preemptive propagation of an irritating topic!! Sorry about that; I wasn’t actually trying to be a pain in the ass.)

I want to tell you about Lex Talionis so fucking bad. It’s actually more involved than it lets on in that first chapter, I think. My UYEGF and I have discussed this for hours. I even told my dad everything out of desperation, changing Kyle’s gender and making it generally more parent-friendly so he could help me with some of the mechanics…I’ve learned so much about the law in the past few months. I just hope it doesn’t seem too contrived and unnecessarily complicated. Do you do a lot of research for your writing? How much reference do you have to use, if any? It seems like I live on Wikipedia when I’m writing, whether I’m looking up police ranks or types of condoms or that one episode where Stan sort of pats Kyle’s arm.

[sekrit-omg.livejournal.com]

The Etsy layout is okay -- it's far better than DA, but then, most things are. As for what kind of art I do, calling it "art" has got to be a joke. I'm a crafter, and my partner and I make paper goods. I suppose like everyone I downplay my artistic abilities, but I really can't make fan art proper -- at least, not in the way you do or other talented fan artists do. I can depict people, but I have no consistency, and I don't own a tablet or any software that would enable me to make too many things that I felt confident sharing. Now I am completely blanking on where, but somewhere recently you said something about the move toward digital art, and I do feel that. I don't mean to turn this into a discussion about fan art or digital art or art in general, but it is something I think about. Maybe I can find a way to work my perspective on this into that editing e-mail I've been writing for four days.

I'm a drama whore in that I love to observe it. I've ignited some, and fueled some, but all in the name of watching it burn. Nevertheless, I wouldn't do that in this fandom. I guess we feel more or less the same here.

I've promised myself I'm going to finish writing everything on that list I made. And actually, posting it helped give me some perspective on what to work harder on. My first priorities, though, have to be finishing "The Other Table" (I need fic-naming lessons or something) and your contest, which, let me tell you how slowly I write these fucking long-ass things. Your deadline is killing me. (But I'm gonna do it, man. I have aspirations.)

I just feel so fucking guilty leaving a short or unhelpful review. I realize that most authors would prefer to hear "I like it" over nothing, but I either have to be either really jazzed about a story or have something really good to say about it to want to comment on it. And I feel bad about it, I really do. And actually, there are some stories I just feel don't need my commentary. Like, anything with hundreds of comments. But yes, I have definitely noticed that you write awesome, helpful, involved reviews. I mean, you like, save and rewrite them. I really want to not turn this into a circle jerk so I should probably just stop here. (Wank wank wank splat. Oops.)

My comment was too long

[sekrit-omg.livejournal.com]

All right, it goes both ways. I've never felt this way about someone before (oh god, this is getting really gay), but if you lost interest, it would actually change the experience of being in this fandom for me. Yes, butterflies and kisses for everyone. I have been in love with South Park since before I had my period, man. (That's like the farthest-back milestone I can conceive of.) I don't know what made me suddenly fall in love with the fandom, or the idea of slashing the characters, but I have been quite obsessed with the show for something like 11 years now. See, now I can't start giving you examples of this shit because that would give me away to people I know in real life who don't know I'm in this fandom, mostly men I need to see me as wholly virtuous, and I kind of hate that, but it's a SEKRIT. Ugh, maybe I should just put this in the e-mail. I must be coming off as a psychopath. Moving on...

JUST FREAKING POST IT ALREADY. Did I saw that out loud? I mean, please take your time. Hee, changing Kyle's gender. It's SO EASY. I happily admit to knowing little about legal matters. As far as research goes, I mean, it varies. I did a lot of research writing the baking story, actually -- looking up the exact names and uses for various pastry tools, many of which I didn't incorporate. Oh, and to figure out what Stan was going to make, I read through several cookbooks and followed the recipes. But then, I knew where to look because I generally try to limit my writing to things I know enough about to deal with naturally in a story. Something I cannot stand -- and you have never been guilty of this-- is when someone clearly wants to write about something they know nothing about so they do some looking into it and that part of the story reads like an eighth-grade term paper. You know where that happens most commonly? Anything with Judaism.

Anyway, I think writing for me is like 1/3 research, 1/3 what I already know, and 1/3 trying to fake it enough to seem naturalistic. Although one thing I do more than anything is checking southparkstudios.com. I actually watch a lot of clips or even whole episodes over again for reference.

And oh my god, I want it to be complicated. However it turns out, the day you post it I will flip.

Re: My comment was too long

[imaginaaation.livejournal.com]

When I checked out the Paper Swap link in your journal, I thought about participating for about half a second before I realized the only paper-related items I can make are origami flowers. Sorry for the ignorance, but what does paper crafting entail? The only thing I can think of are those cutouts where you fold along the dotted lines and make 3-D stuff. I feel stupid asking. You can tell I’m part of that super-convenient digital era. Not that I don’t respect digital artists, but I’m very sure that I take advantage of Photoshop more often than most people do. I only got my tablet to do South Park porn. This is probably just because I fail at it, but I generally assume that handcrafted art takes more skill than anything on a computer, or at least a different type of skill. Dexterity, namely. The lack of an undo button would destroy me.

Uh, fic-naming lessons? Are you kidding?? “Three-Legged Race For Sprained Ankle Awareness Bake-Off,” okay? I don’t know if I told you this before, but I was oh-so-slightly tipsy when I first read it, and the title by itself just killed me. Pure genius. (I totally pushed back the contest deadline. I hope there will be last minute entries, but it’s been sort of a shitty month, anyway.)

Honestly, I used to be the person that went, “Good work, update!” in my reviews, but they’ve been getting progressively longer. My history starts with a one-liner and from then on they slowly become essays. I like giving helpful feedback, but it takes so damn long. I think you feel my pain about how hard it is getting motivated to actually sit down and attempt to write decent concrit.

Aw, thank you, obviously it’s the same here. This is the first fandom I’ve gotten into in which the other fans are actually more than incidental, at least to such an extent. Dude. You’ve been into South Park for that long? That’s awesome! Hey, why aren’t you more of an elitist? Man, I would so be pimping out my excessive knowledge and correcting people on very minute things. You know, just generally being an asshole, because that’s the way I get when I know things other people don’t. Of course, I’m really glad you aren’t like that. (I only got into South Park in October of 2006, forgot about it, then picked it back up in November of ‘07. BORING BACKSTORY but there it is. I was shipping KennyxKyle back then, oddly enough.) You partake in squeaky-clean fronting, too? I unconsciously do that with people I don’t know.

I am so pissed. I haven’t had any time to write for a few days, and I’m just dying to post shit. I really need to quit my fucking job. You do your research really well, because I’d already assumed you were a master chef or something. I know exactly what you mean about the super-intrusive chunks of information, and am relieved to hear that my facts are at least at the ninth-grade term paper level. I’ve noticed that about Judaism, too! There need to be more fandom Jews. I only know of a couple. I also watch episodes madly. I’ve downloaded a lot of them--and promptly made lots of stupid fake movie trailers with them for YouTube, because Brokeback Mountain StanxKyle is FUNNY, damn it, and I made this Titanic one that I just have to show you sometime because it is relevant to another one of our threads.

I tried to be brief so I could fit this comment into one post. My idea of brevity is, like, three tangents per sentence. As opposed to, you know. Four or something.

Re: My comment was too long

[sekrit-omg.livejournal.com]

Well, the idea behind this swap (there are swaps of various kinds all the time, actually) is that 'paper' is the theme, so theoretically you could do anything you imagined as long as 'paper' kept the project cohesive. By which I mean, you could do papier-mache, you could construct something paper-ish from another medium entirely. There are other interpretations: academic papers, newspapers, walking papers, and so on. You could do some art on paper, like a painting or drawing. Nevertheless, I assume most participants will be making something from paper that is also functional, like a card or journal. A good idea is paper dolls, actually. But so much of this is about the crafting movement, and as my partner and I make stationery, we'll be making sets of notecards. Not very creative, but there you go. Oh, I expect a lot of letterpress.

Photoshop in itself is a skill. At least now you have a tablet. They're pretty cool, but not having one I'm definitely not practiced enough to make anything other than flower doodles. I think you're pretty successful at it. But at least you have writing to fall back on.

I didn't know you were tipsy. I've never read any fan porn any other way than sober. And actually, I never thought about it before. The "Three Legged Race" thing just came from, like, the name of the bake-off. I wanted to call it "Get Your Bake On" or something because I desperately wish I could do cute puns like you, but I thought it was stupid. My new idea is just giving everything random song lyrics as titles. This contest story's working title is totally "I Came A Long Way to See You Now I Wish You Were Dead," not that it has anything to do with the story or the theme or anything. It's just in that GTA IV commercial. I hate titling things. It kills me.

Part II again

[sekrit-omg.livejournal.com]

I haven't written enough reviews. Although I have actually written a couple of critical ones that I feel bad about. (I also agreed to edit someone's story, and then my computer broke, and that was three months ago, and ... I suck.) Also, someone once wrote a lecture at the top of their chapter about the lack of reviews, and I kind of went off on him/them. Man, I really suck. Hard. Albeit hopefully in a satisfying way.

I try not to be an elitist in fandom. We are all equally awesome and terrible. Maybe I don't succeed, but ... that was kind of what I got out of the hobbit fandom: It was like, look, lady, I'm glad you're 60 and you have PhD and you were reading LOTR when it just came out, and you wrote a novel-length tome about Frodo's futuresex/lovesounds with many requisite allusions and subtleties, but honestly, you're writing fucking gay fucking porn about fucking hobbits, get over yourself.

Oh, and I hardly have every moment of SP memorized. I was rather into when it started, but then when I got to high school my interest waned and I only sort of watched it every now and then. Then, when I got to college, my roommate and I were obsessed with it, and we started having a SP-themed holiday instead of Christmas, and I was the freaking Mole for Halloween, OMG. Then when I got really busy at college I stopped caring again, then I graduated and had Tivo and started re-watching it fervently. I had a lot to catch up on, like all of seasons 8, 9, and 10. Weirdly though I'd seen "Apologies to Jesse Jackson" and "Cartman Sucks." Then when the second half of season 11 started I camped out and watched it all. And then when I started getting into the fandom I was like, I have to rewatch all of it from the slash perspective! Stan is so gay! He totally did something gay in season 3 I missed when I was 14! And that is all you ever needed to know about me.

(Not really. ... Kinda. I have a Kyle plushie from when I was 12. It doesn't look like Kyle at all. It's too happy.)

Totally clean fronting, not necessarily, just certain things and certain people. It depends who. Closeness varies. Oh, and I think much of it has to do with the fact that the LOTR fandom was so hilarious, I wasn't serious about like hobbits being madly in love. I kind of just adored the wank. But this SP thing I am so completely serious about, like writing and deliberating and, and .... talking to people. For some reason, caring makes it worse. To other people.

Kenny/Kyle? Really? Care to elaborate? Because I get it, kind of. I just don't see a lot of fuel for K^2. I know some people are really into it, though. Really.

The only decent thing I can make is quiche. Go figure. I mean granted I wouldn't have written a story about cooking if I wasn't somewhat interesting in food or cooking, but it's not like I know off the top of my head how to make a Key lime pie. Your facts are seemless, actually. Like I said, I look for things sounding naturalistic. And your stories sound nothing if not naturalistic.

It seems like there are a couple of people in the fandom who are really big Jews. Like, hugely into being Jewish. I don't really know, the Broflovskis seem stereotypically/culturally/secularly Jewish, but they don't keep kosher, or seem to really follow the religion particularly strictly. Like most things it varies based on what's hilarious. But then there are some fanfics that are really heavy-handed.

I feel like I have all these semi-hilarious YouTube video ideas that I can't execute. (My best idea back in the day was probably hobbit slash to the tune of "Gasolina," probably that's stale now, though.) So if you can do it, I commend you. Also, I will try to track you down now. Congrats, I'm totally a stalker.

Okay great, that's the end of my LJ responsibilities for now. Now I have a review reply I won't get to today. But we'll see.